Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
