No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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