I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
Itโs like sheโs marking her territory
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ๐๐๐๐
Randomize
