respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
