I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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