Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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