This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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