I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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