He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
