I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
