I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
