I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
