At least make sure they are 18
Why
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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