Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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