I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
