He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
