If that was your dad, he is hot
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
God I need to hump something, right now.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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