just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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