there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Randomize
