I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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