Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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