I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
