I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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