Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
my shit smells like andre
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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