Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
