Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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