Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Randomize
