I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
smell my finger.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
