Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
