Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
