The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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