I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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