Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
