I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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