Whod you bang
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
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