I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize