Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
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