I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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