I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
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