All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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