Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Randomize
