I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Drunk is a universal language darling
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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