Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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