I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
