now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
