i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
