I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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