Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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