You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
