Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
