Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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