what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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