I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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