Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
