come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
