Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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