Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize