I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
