I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
