the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
