You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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