I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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