I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
